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ChristmasCandleBest time of year Christmas, first thing I do is stand in my little girls’ room and watch as she sleeps peacefully waiting for Santa. As she stirs she mumbles in her sleep.

‘Mummy has he been yet?’

I lean down beside her bed and whisper ‘yes, wake up sleepy head.’ Opening her eyes looking all sleepy, she scans the room expectantly. She jumps out of bed running into our bedroom shouting ‘Daddy its Christmas wake up’ and proceeds to jump on top of Dan as he groans and rolls over.

‘Aww Jenna its 6.30am, give me five minutes.’ He protests sleepily at me, but we both know that will never happen today.

‘GET UP GET UP I WANT TO SEE WHAT HE’S BROUGHT!’ she screeches as Dan rubs the sleep from his eyes.

We run down stairs to see our beautiful tree all decorated and lots of gifts underneath, Kassie runs first to the mantel piece to check the mince pie we always left for Santa.

‘LOOK DADDY HE LIKED it’ she said giddily before heading for the tree.

‘Of course he liked them, he loves minced pies, who doesn’t?’ he answered feeling sick at the thought, Danny had always hated them since a child.

We all sat under the tree to open our presents and I sit watching my little girl open them one by one, never getting over the excitement of opening each package. I watch Dan as he helps her, he looks so anxious as the time goes on, he’s worrying about how todays going to pan out.

‘Look here’s one from mummy to you daddy’ she says handing him the gift before diving back under to open another.

Dan smiles and slowly opens the present, it’s a cook book entitled ‘Cooking for Dummies, Christmas Addition’. He smiles and lets out a little giggle remembering a private joke between us.

‘Just a little help to get you on your way’ I giggle back as he sets it to one side and reaches for another.

We sit like this until 9am, finishing opening presents, playing with toys and watching TV, then Dan gets up and heads to the kitchen, for a few seconds he just stands near the cooker just not knowing where to start.

Kassie follows him and looks up at him.

‘Mummy always does the turkey first.’

‘Oh does she now’ he reply’s smiling down at her, he bends down beside her and they look at each other with warm affection.

‘I know it’s sad without her daddy, but I will help you’ Kassie says putting her arms around Dan and giving him a big cuddle and a kiss.

Dan and Kassie go to my pin board and read my last note.

‘Dear Kassie and Dan

 I love you both so much. I shall be with you always, Merry Christmas!

 Love Mummy (Jenna)’


Cancer took me from their lives, but I know as long as they have each other they will do just fine.


By Liz Daniels